Tuesday, November 3

anyhow

Everything has gotten so bad, its to the point were if he did want to work it out, i honestly wouldnt be able to tell him everything that i want to work on in our relationship. And its to the point that i am actually scared to talk to him because i know it will just start a fight..


baby again...

you know

people learn to pick and choose there battles. I have learned to choose mine. I have chosn to fight the battle of the things that i want in my life to keep me happy. I realized that no one can make a good living with only a high school degree unless they do something illegal. Since doing what i have to to keep myself in enough money to take care of myself and my baby, life has gotten ten times better. I never thought i would do this. I did it at 12, selling and taking drugs. but i never thought i would start again. but when your back is againest the wall, and you cant get any help, a woman does what she has to to take care of her child.
As for my relationship, i am trying to fight for it,, but it seems like my boyfriend is basically fighting againest me. I really have no fucking idea what to do about that. This is definitely seeming like more and more of a lost cause. Its gotten so bad, that i have actually looked for a roommate and a new place to live and a job. I am hoping that maybe if i leave him, he will finally realize what he had, and then he will be willing to finally work things out.

baby is cring brb

UGH

my nerves are so fucking bad. i really think my relationship is way over, i think we are hanging on for the old times. i keep trying to talk shit out but it only leads to a fight and never any changes which just keeps me irratated. I work my ass off with barely any sleep just tryna get money and run errands and no matter what im still not happy. im never fucking appreciated and with my boyfriend too damn hard headed to see what hes got and not willing to make a compromise since he thinks ill be around even though he treats me like shit, well he is gonna get the fucking shock of his life one of these days.