Friday, August 7

Its weird

I have gone to school for the past 12 years of my life, faked sick to get out of class, skipped homework assignments until the class before the one it was due in, dreaded waking up in the morning, texting during class, and now that i am out of it, i kind of miss it. Well, then again i really only had 11 years of schooling since my senior year was spent doing a full-time job and online schooling. And yet, i can't honestly wait to get into college. Maybe its just because the classes i will be taking will be ones that i am interested in, maybe its because i know the money i will make and the job i will have once i am out of college. Maybe its just because i know college is a lot different then high school. Or maybe, its because i actually miss learning. I feel like my brain is going to no use at all, and it just makes me feel kind of worthless not to have a job or not be going to school.

My days are spent cleaning up an apartment and resting. My nights are spent at my parents (Since my boyfriend doesn't want me at our place alone just yet in case i go into labor) just relaxing. After my boyfriend gets off we cook, watch a movie or play some games, then go to sleep. And it starts all over again. I just want to do something more, whether its working at a job, going to school, or just anything really. I know it will be awhile before i can work, but i know that i can do school at anytime, which makes me incredibly happy. Its like, i have had this giant list of goals/to do's before the baby comes and after he gets here. Now that all of the things are scratched off on the before the baby comes section, i have a whole new list to help me and my boyfriend get our lives together under the after the baby comes section. Some of these things under this are getting my boyfriend and i both back into school. I just feel like we have been doing so much for this baby, that this is something that will help us all out. I love researching things on the internet and just helping make plans. I love making phone calls and organizing things. I am not sure what that really has to do anything? It just makes me feel useful.

I just think its weird, that i spent so many years of my life hating school and now i couldn't wait for it more.

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