Wednesday, July 1


I guess that lately i have finally had the time to just slow down and really think about my life. Not only sorting out my past, but also planning out my future. That is why i got this blog, since i really don't know who i can talk to that would really want to spend the time helping me out, much less I really feel this is something i have to do on my own. My 18th birthday is soon, and so is my due date. It was never something i planned, but now that my baby boy is almost here, i really can't wait. I wonder sometimes if i can handle it, i have all these plans i wanna do, but who says i can really do them? I have been so bad at accomplishing my plans and goals, it seems that something bad always distracts me. I am still so young, so i still get so easily distracted, but now i have more then just me to think about, i have my child as well. I would tell my friends about all this, but none of them can even begin to imagine what really goes on when your pregnant and about to be a mom, lord knows i thought it would be a lot easier then it is. And i know that it is only going to get harder. I'd talk to my boyfriend, but he is a lot older then me (almost 26) so he has already been through what i am going through (the whole growing up thing) so it is a lot easier for him to be a dad. Plus, i know that if i really talk to him about my past, he'll never really be able to understand how it feels, not that i would ever want him to be able to. I know he has had a rough past too, and that is why i respect him and love him so much, but our past our very different, and as alike as we are, we are as equally different. Not only in the way we think and act, but also the way we live and are in general. I guess this alike/different combo is actually what makes us so good together. And i definitely couldn't talk to my family, since none of them even begins to know what has really happened in my past. Which is sad, cause your family is the one set of people you should always be able to count on.

So i rely on this journal, to let go of all these thoughts and memories, to not only help me sort out things that are in my present, but to also sort out things that have happened in the past.


  1. hey chicklet found you from a different site, guess what? I did everything your doin right now. 17 and preggo! I am now 25 though and everything is going great!!! keep your chin up it gets easier. There is alot to be said about a girl who is trying to make it and be the best she can be for her kiddo.

  2. I just got your comment, but thank you! really, it helps to hear that someone is for me :)