Wednesday, July 1


Gave me heartburn today. How fair is that? Its one of the few ways i can really drink tons of water (Which you need plenty of in Baton Rouge since its so hot!) and now it is giving me heartburn. This isn't like the 'I ate too much chili' heartburn, this is the 'I feel like I'm having a heart attack' heartburn. And of course you can only take certain medicines when you are pregnant, none of which work as good as the ones you can't take.

I really feel like i have so much to do in the following weeks. I still have to call WIC and the pediatrician i want my baby to go to. I still have to try and get more AVON clients and finish my online high school courses and start my online medical transcriptionist courses. And don't forget that i really need to start working on my website and get it advertised soon. And there are so many things we still need for my baby, and even though we have tons of clothes i still have to wash them all. I definitely need to pack my hospital bags soon. Me and my boyfriend really need to get our apartment together(since we are still living in separate places because we haven't gotten the money saved to live on our own). It is so hard for us to get money saved though, because I am only doing little at home things to raise money and he is working, but he also lives in an apt. with some friends so he has to help them pay bills. I'm really doing my best to do anything i can to get some money together, but something always comes up to were it seems to all go away. I even had a huge garage sale and sold like a bunch of my prepregnant clothes and stuff from my room that wasn't a necessity. we're really relying on my baby shower for some stuff we need,although i know we won't get everything. As of today i am 34 weeks, and on the 12 i will be 8 months.

I know i have a lot to do, but it is so hard for me. I can sleep for 12 hours, and wake up and feel like i have been up running a marathon for the past week. Plus lying down is easy, but walking is really getting difficult for me. Tomorrow i am going to MATERNITY to buy myself one of those back supports, i am hoping that will make being up and running around town a lot easier for me. I have also been trying to like when i get up actually get dressed up cute and do my hair and makeup like i ALWAYS used to do, cause if i take time to make myself feel pretty and human again I'm more likely to want to go out no matter how HOT it is. At my last doctors appointment i was 191. Can you believe it? That's insane for me, considering that I've never been over 150 before in my life! I've never wore anything bigger then a size 8 (or a M). And now here i am, 191 pounds and i can't even fit into Maternity sized M clothes. Its kind of sad, i mean i don't regret it though. I do look good for my pregnant size, and i LOVE my tummy. I just think all this weight and hormones and seeing my size on a scale plus stretch marks doesn't really add up to well. The weird thing is i actually haven't ever loved my body as much as i have while i was pregnant. Before this, i had always tried so hard to be so thin, so my size was never good enough for me. People never called me fat, it was just me being a teenage girl. But now, looking in the mirror when i step out of the shower isn't a horror show. Maybe its just cause i focus on my tummy and rub it and think of my baby. Either way, my body finally makes me happy. My family and friends and boyfriend really help me out too. MY boyfriend still calls me pretty and sexy, he still always holds my hand in public, and he even shows everyone he knows my tummy and goes "look how cute my tummy is, isn't it coming along great" like it is actually his tummy or something. He rubs it when we're laying down together too, and talks to it and "beats it up" (which includes him just tapping his finger on my tummy whenever baby kicks him. What can i say? Baby just gets excited to hear his daddy's voice, so he kicks a lot, and if my boyfriend has his ear to my tummy, cause he loves hearing the noises and such, he gets kicked). And my friends love looking at my tummy and they make me lift my shirt and think my stretch marks are cute? Same with my family. My cousin called them cute cause they make like a circle around my belly button, there only on the lower part of my tummy. I guess they are kind of cute, but the ones on my back aren't, and neither are the varicose veins in my thighs.

In the end though, its all worth it. Another delima i have been having is circumcision(sorry i can't spell it) it seems that no one can really give me a straight opinion on it, including my boyfriend. I've heard it doesn't have medical purposes, and yet I've also heard that it does have medical purposes. I have heard my boyfriend say he does want it done on our baby, and also that he doesn't care. Well, i guess we better figure out soon, since medicaid doesn't cover it. I'm just really nervous cause that's one more think you have to help heal on top of the umbilical cord. As if i am not nervous enough about taking care of a newborn with his head all soft and him not being able to lift his head (especially our baby, the ultrasound lady told us he had a big head, which i knew would happen cause i have one). I don't know, i guess i will just have to talk to him about it.

Soon we will be putting my car in the shop to fix it from the wreck. [ I got in a wreck a while back, i was stopped at a red light and someone behind me just slammed into me. We had to go to the hospital immediately, and thank god everything with the baby was okay. I was nervous for a few days though, cause i kept having stomach pains and back pains. It was just me being sore. ] I don't know what we'll do then. I honestly need my car so bad! I have to use it at least everyday to get my boyfriend, bring him to work, and to pick him up when he gets off and bring him home. [He doesn't have a car, so we share one. His roommates are such asses about helping us out too. But i won't start on them, there asses about everything, and i really hate them. So continuing on.]

Well, speaking of which i need to go pack my bag since i am spending the night with him tonight when he gets off [he works as a chef in a yummy restaurant] so I guess for now thats all i have to write. Although i feel like i could go on typing forever, i guess tomorrow i will have to start typing sooner!

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